better work issue #13

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🎷 The new "work-life balance" is finally here

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👋 Hey, it's Susan. Welcome to better work - a personal development newsletter for high-performers who put themselves first so that they can show up for the people they love.

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🔥 When you're burned out or overwhelmed, your first instinct is to do less and delegate more to free up your time.

But having more time doesn't solve your problems.

😵 Ironically, you'll have more time to think about your problems.

Today, we're going to explore a more sustainable alternative to work-life balance, and how to find the energy to do what matters to you even when you're tired.

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Read the full newsletter below.

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I'm sixteen years old and I'm watching TV at 8 PM on a Monday night.

Whaaaat?!

My parents never let me watch TV on weekdays, but they made an exception for a little show called American Idol.

ICYMI, American Idol was a reality singing competition where viewers voted to eliminate contestants each week.

🎤 Hands down, the auditions were the best part of American Idol.

Something about the cringe of bad auditions was so satisfying.

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What made those auditions so cringe wasn't just that they were off-key - it was that the singers were completely convinced they sounded amazing. They were so disconnected from their actual performance that they couldn't hear what everyone else could.

The same thing happens in our lives. We can be going through all the motions of a "successful" life - checking off goals, maintaining our routines, saying yes to the right opportunities - but something still feels fundamentally off.

And just like those American Idol contestants, we might be the last to realize it.

This disconnect between how we think we're performing and how we actually feel is especially common with work-life balance. We've been told that if we just manage our time better, delegate more, and create boundaries, we'll feel more fulfilled.

So why do we still feel like something is off?

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🫨 Why you can't shake off that feeling of being "off"

There are two major myths of work:

1. If you work more, then you'll feel more productive.
2. If you work less, then you'll feel less stressed.

These are misconceptions because you can feel tired after both busy and slow days. I bet you've said something like "I did a lot today but I don't feel like I was being productive."

But there’s a difference between feeling tired and feeling empty.

Tired doesn’t make you question who you are, what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it. Tiredness can be fixed with rest.

🌊 Feeling empty comes and goes in waves, but each time it comes back, the wave is bigger. You're constantly in recovery mode.​

You can push through tired. You can’t push through empty.

For example: my clients are working day jobs and have side hustles while taking care of their families. They are tired, but they feel full.

The problem isn’t too much work, it’s the wrong kind of work or work for the wrong reasons.

Changing jobs won’t change the way you feel about work. You have to change how you work.

When I tell people that I run a career coaching business, they assume that I just help people find jobs. While that can happen, the bigger transformation is finding a better way to work for them.

The solution isn't to work less or work more.

The solution isn't to equally assign hours to each part of your life so everything feels balanced.

You need to work in sync with who you actually are.

You need to find your rhythm.

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🎵 How to find your rhythm

No one can tell you what your rhythm should feel like or look like. It’s like defining “good music” for everyone.

But you can start to find your rhythm by asking "Enough Questions."

• Are you getting enough movement?
• Are you getting enough sleep?
• Are you getting enough nutrients?
• Are you getting enough solo time?
• Are you getting enough socialization?

Notice I said “enough,” not “optimal.” High-performers default to optimizing everything, but optimization can be a rhythm breaker. When you’re constantly tweaking and measuring, you never settle into a natural flow.

Other examples of rhythm breakers are temporary changes to your environment, like traveling or a major life event.

For example -

📦 My rhythm was completely broken for three months when I moved my whole life from Hawaii to Washington, DC. On top of that, my husband was separating from the military, our dog got stuck in Dallas, and we spent over $10,000 in emergency expenses.

Everything from my wellness practices, stress management, and my business were affected.

💣 My nervous system was shot.

I had to remind myself that this was temporary. I had a routine and practice to return to once things stabilized again. Being off rhythm wasn't good or bad. I was aware of it, but that's what it had to be at the time.

👀 Then there are the sneaky rhythm breakers.

These rhythm breakers show up in your everyday life without you noticing.

• Trying to be “on” all the time
• Comparing your rhythm to someone else’s
• Not honoring your natural energy patterns
• Scheduling everything based on external expectations

To get back on rhythm, it's going to take a few tries until you find the beat again.

What definitely won't help with finding your rhythm is sitting and thinking about how to find your rhythm.

💩 You have to let things be messy and sound shitty.

This reminds me of my early days of entrepreneurship when I struggled with my schedule. I would wake up and feel like I had so much to do, but also had nothing to do at the same time.

It took years (plural!) to find my groove. More than four years later and I'm still working on my rhythm. I'm more confident now about what I'm supposed to be doing, but during stressful periods, I question if the rhythm I set for myself still works for me or if things need to shift.

🥁 What seems like trying to find balance is actually trying to realign with yourself and your natural rhythms based on your current season of life.

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⭐ Hey VIP! ⭐

You're seeing this section because you joined the VIP list to get first access to the only assessment designed to unblock high-performers. You wanted to understand why you’re stuck despite all your success.

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After months of delays (thanks, life!), The High-Performer’s Blind Spot Quiz is officially live! 🎉

In this five-minute quiz, you’ll discover which of the four blind spots is keeping you stuck: trust, identity, beliefs, or tolerance.

Plus, you’ll receive one exercise to start shifting that blind spot into a breakthrough.

This isn’t another personality test. It’s designed specifically for high-performers who are tired of hitting the same invisible walls despite all their efforts.

You deserve to know what’s really holding you back.

🎯 Take the quiz now → https://heymslee.fillout.com/quiz​

FYI - When you receive your quiz results, you'll have the option to take things a step further by booking a complimentary call with me. 🎲 This call is literally a gamechanger because I gamified the personal growth process. As a VIP, you get first dibs on these limited calls.

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🎉 Pause to party

To celebrate the more-than-halfway-milestone of better work (13 issues out of 24 published!), I'm inviting you to a coffee chat.

Normally, I don't share my coffee chat link publicly, but I'm trying this out for better work readers only.

We can talk about any of the topics covered in previous issues, including frameworks I've shared, or you can tell me what you'd like to see in future issues before the year ends.

☕ Book your coffee chat here.​

That's all from me today. Thank you for reading.

🫡 See you on July 31st.

Take care of yourself,

Susan

Susan Lee

Career coach for holistic growth

Founder of Hey Ms. Lee, LLC​

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P.S. A close friend and avid reader of better work asked me how I kept up with publishing this newsletter during the shitstorm. My creativity tank was low, and my bandwidth was even lower. 🎯 But I still hit every deadline. How? If you ask me nicely, I'll share the deets over a coffee chat.

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What did you think about today's newsletter? (🚨 make sure you confirm your choice on the next screen) 🤯 I NEEDED this! You read my mind. 🤔 It made me think in a good way. 🤓 Not my favorite but I enjoyed the read.

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✌️ After Work

This is a bonus section where I share opportunities, recommendations, freebies, and funsies.

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🤓 I can't believe my friends didn't know this already

I regularly fall into the trap of thinking my friends already know what I know because I have incredibly intelligent and talented friends.

So when they said they didn't know about these Google hacks, I thought I'd share them with you too.

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📆 Google Calendar

If you're constantly "inviting" your partner to your Google calendar events, then you need to create a Google Family Calendar.

When you create an event under this calendar, Google automatically sends an event email notification and adds the event to your family members' calendars without you having to invite them individually. Whether they like it or not. 😈

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📥 Google Drive

You can now scan your documents directly to the Google Drive app instead of uploading a photo. Google also creates a suggested file name based on the scanned document.

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🗺️ Google Maps

I've got two for this one.

1) You can share your list of saved places with other people.

This is super handy when people ask for recommendations when they travel. 🏝️ BTW if you need recs for Oahu, I got you.

2) You can share your real-time location (or view someone else's).

You can see how long it takes for someone to arrive and locate exactly where they are (like an Uber). Now you don't have to wonder where they are or how long it will take for them to get to you.

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💬 Google Messages

If you use Google Messages on your Android for texting, then you can send and receive texts on your web browser. This makes texting much faster, and you can access your texts without having to pick up your phone.

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🪓 Which Google hack are you going to try first?

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👐🏼 Got something to share?

Do you have an event, launch, or freebie that you want to share with the world? Let's feature it in better work!

Take this as a sign from the Universe that you shouldn't build alone.

Reply to this email and tell me more about it.

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