better work newsletter #34

Imagine how your life would look 6 months from now if you had clear directions for the next phase of your career. Not a vision board. Not journal prompts. A concrete direction that's aligned with your life, your priorities, and what actually energizes you. That's what's inside our upcoming group program. ➡️ Join the waitlist here.

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I should have walked through the goddamn door.

My junior year of college had just wrapped. I'm standing in front of the door at the Study Abroad Office at Temple University, clutching the brochure for a summer semester in Rome, Italy.

All of the credits would go towards my graduation requirements, and my scholarships and grants would cover the tuition. But there were additional costs: the flight, lodging, meals, and administrative fees.

💸 Totaling to an additional $4,000.

I was going to be a high school math teacher. My parents were immigrants - we didn't have deep pockets or a safety net. But growing up as Millennials, we were told, "You can be anything you want to be.”

But we weren't told how much 'anything' would cost us.

In my case, it was going to cost $4,000.

I’d traveled beyond the States once before (to Korea), but Rome was an entirely new world to explore. And I craved an adventure.

Italy was my last chance to study abroad because by the following summer I would have graduated and been en route to "the real world."

If I wanted to travel, now was the time.

So I lifted my hand...and dropped the brochure into the recycling bin next to the Study Abroad Office door.

I walked away.
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Closed doors leave more questions than answers

Fast forward 6 years later, I'm standing in front of another door.

This time it’s the door to my principal’s office (my boss).

I'm 5 years into teaching and already secured a well-decorated tenure. I helped our school become one of the top three schools in Philadelphia by my 1st year. I was awarded Teacher of the Year my 4th year.

I earned my Master’s degree and was on track to be free of student loan debt by the end of the year. I bought my first home. I got a dog (my parents never let me have a dog).

I accomplished all of this by the time I was twenty-six years old.

And all I could think was: I need to get the hell out of here.

I was burned out. I peaked too fast, too soon. Sustaining my success at my pace was impossible. Instead of slowing down (silence was scary), I numbed myself instead.

I started acting out of character. Yelling at my students, making stupid mistakes (like the time my car got towed because I parked in front of someone's garage door), and drinking every weekend.

This was not part of the plan.

I didn't know what else to do. So I did what I always do when I get scared:

I ran away.

That’s how I found myself in front of the door of my principal’s office. I knew that as soon as I walked through that door, I was going to completely change the trajectory of my life.

The perfect life I built with the perfect checklist.

I didn't have a plan after this. That should have terrified me, but you'll do irrational things when you’re burned out.

My brain was fried. My body took over.

I watched myself raise my hand and knock on my boss's door. And I threw everything away.

I quit my job, sold my belongings (except what I could fit in my Honda Civic), rented out my house, gave my dog to my parents, and took a year off with no backup plan.
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I started knocking anyway

Right after I quit teaching, I did what I wish I had done years ago: I followed my curiosity.

Not to Italy. Instead, I backpacked across Southeast Asia. I trekked through Thailand, Indonesia, Singapore, Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam.

I volunteered at a sea turtle habitat in Bali. I fed baby elephants watermelon (and shoveled the…aftermath 💩) at a rescue camp in Chiang Mai.

I was Mrs. Worldwide.

When I came back from backpacking, life came to a screeching halt. Back to reality.

I had nowhere to go. No job. No home. Just me and my Honda Civic.

In the car were all my worldly possessions, including: two week's worth of clothes, a jewelry box from Ten Thousand Villages, and my very first diary - which of course read "Girls Rule" on the cover.

I still had my dog, but he was happily living with my parents (and 10 pounds heavier).

So I decided, “Let’s move to Austin!”

I had never even been to the South. But 100 people a day were moving to Austin in 2015, so I joined them to see what the hype was about.

I hopped in my Honda Civic and roadtripped my way over, another adventure. Along the way, I used Craigslist to find a part-time gig as an after-school tutor. When I made it to Austin, I Couchsurfed until I found a more permanent place to live.

Yep, I stayed on a stranger’s couch for a week and I wasn’t murdered. (Please don’t tell my mom.)

For the first time in my life, I did what I wanted to do without a clear plan. I picked a door and walked through it quickly before I could change my mind, figuring things out along the way. (I moved out of Austin less than 6 months after landing there, but that's a story for another time).

Not studying abroad was one of my few regrets and I never made that mistake again. I swore to myself that if one day I woke up and there was a nuclear apocalypse, I could happily say I lived life on my terms.

And I kept that promise to myself as I faced more [metaphorical] doors over the years:

🚪 The door between keeping my independence or marrying into the Army, having no idea what I was getting myself into.
🚪The door between leaving my lucrative tech career or starting my own business, with zero business training and experience.
🚪The door between following my own path or the one my parents mapped out for me, even if it meant losing my family.

And each time, I walked through the door with a little less hesitation, with a little more audacity.

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Taking risks or following curiosity?

Let’s be clear: I’m neither reckless nor fearless. I'm actually quite risk-averse. I default to playing it safe.

🤔 But I'm also deeply curious.

That curiosity is what pushed me to open more doors, even when my heart pounds like crazy, my pits start to sweat, and my breath gets caught in my throat.

While I met the most incredible people and had the most wonderful experiences while backpacking, I gained something unexpected, something more valuable and more dangerous:​
​I learned how to deeply, radically trust myself.

I stopped being afraid of what I could lose, like my independence or $4,000, because being afraid is boring and nothing is a waste.

Whatever you put out into the Universe will eventually come back to you.

The first time I witnessed the magic of the Universe was when I came back from that trip to Southeast Asia (after I blew up my perfect life).

I saved up for the trip but without a job lined up, I was still down $4,000. The exact same amount that trip to Italy would have cost me. Touché, Universe.

My mail was forwarded to my parents’ house since I didn't have a place to live. One day, buried in the stack was a check from Pennsylvania. Unclaimed property money.

The amount?

$4,000.
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How to choose the right door

You’re facing a door right now that you've tried to stay away from - the door that changes your career [again].

The work you make sacrifices for is not worth it anymore. Still, there’s life. You have bills to pay, you’re far from retirement, and things at work aren’t necessarily wrong.

But they're not right either.

You’re wandering down the hallway, checking out different doors, consulting people about other doors, but you keep coming back to this one particular door.

I know you want to know what’s on the other side so you can plan out every step. But we both know you can’t.

So instead of asking, “Which one is the right door?” consider the question, “Why are you in the hallway in the first place?”

Trying to find the right door is like being trapped in a fever-dream, where you walk through the door and end up back where you started.

The answer to the hallway question will free you. Because you’ll find peace wherever you end up, regardless of which door you step choose.

🙏 Ready to bring more peace into your life?

That's what I'm teaching inside of my group coaching program. Be a part of the first cohort and save over $1,000. Join the waitlist here.​
Take care of yourself,

Susan